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Meanwhile on the bank a bear is watching the fish and the
fly and thinks, if that fly goes down three inches the fish
will jump for the fly and I'll get the fish.

While behind the bear on a hill a hunter is watching
everything and thinks that if that fly goes down three
inches, the fish will jump for the fly, and the bear will go
for the fish, and I'll shoot the bear.

Behind the hunter though, is a mouse. The mouse thinks that
if the fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly,
the bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, and
I'll get the hunter's cheese.

Now stalking the mouse is a cat, the cat thinks that if the
fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly, the
bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, the
mouse will get the hunter's cheese and I'll get the mouse...

So the fly goes down three inches and the fish gets the fly,
the bear gets the fish, the hunter gets the bear, the mouse
gets the cheese, but the cat misses the mouse and falls into
the water and drowns.

The moral of the story is for every fly that goes down three
inches there is a wet pussy.

* * *
Restaurant Ergonomics:
A guy is eating at an exclusive eatery when the waiter comes up to his table and asks if everything is okay. The man replies "Yes," but during the conversation drops his spoon on the floor. The waiter immediately pulls a spoon out of his shirt pocket.

The man asks, "Why do you carry a spoon in your pocket?"

The waiter says that the place is so busy all the time, the employees need to save time any way they can. So they did a survey and the most dropped eating utensil was the spoon. Now, all the waiters carry spoons so they don't have to go to the kitchen and get one. The man thinks that is great.

Later on, the waiter again stops by to see if everything is okay. This time, the man notices a string sticking out of the waiter's zipper. He asks what that was for, and the waiter says, "When we go to the bathroom, we just grab the string and pull it out. That way we don't have to wash our hands, thus saving us time."

"Interesting," says the man, "But how do you put it back in your pants when you're done?"

The waiter says, "I don't know about the other waiters, but I use the spoon."
* * *
Stairs Of Heaven:
There were three guys that died, and to make it to heaven, they had to go up 100 flights of stairs. Each stair had a naked woman on it. They had to make it up all the stairs without getting a woody.

The first guy went up, and he made it 25 stairs. The naked lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and the man said, "I was a carpenter." So she hammered his dick off.

The second guy went up, and he made it 50 stairs. The lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and he said, "I was a wood cutter." So she sawed his dick off.

Finally the third guy went up. He made it 99 stairs, and the naked lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and he says, "I was a lollipop! Ha ha, bitch, you gotta suck my dick off!"
* * *

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